Fading Memories...

What do you do when someone you love starts to leave? It’s not because they want to, but they are leaving just the same. No one really understands why, or how to make it stop. But I wish they did.

The hardest part is that they don’t understand. They don’t realize they are leaving. Especially when they don’t want to realize they are leaving, yet at the same time they can’t understand that that is the wrong choice for everyone. How do you talk to someone and tell them everything like you used to when you know they won’t remember?

They don’t realize that soon they won’t know you, or realize that they really ever did. Part of them will know, always, that they love you, but it won’t always be consciously realized or expressed. They can’t. It’s not fair. But it happens. That is the reality. You can’t run from it. Eventually you just have to accept it. That is the hard part. It’s all a hard part. None of it is easy.

I am at the stage right now where I don’t want to accept it. I don’t want it to be real. I want reality to be the way it was before, not the way it is now.

Someday I will accept it. That’s the only way. But acceptance doesn’t ease the pain. Or make it any less hard.

So I am going to stand here and wish you weren’t going away. But I know that even after you go, once you are gone, for good, you will be waiting for me in the end. Eventually you will remember. Eventually you will know that we always loved each other, and always will. Eventually you won’t leave anymore. Eventually…